My 15 Minutes Year+ of Fame

Summary: Being different in any way makes you stand out. Some things you can hide, others you can’t. In my time in India so far, I’ve experienced three different types of reactions to my being “different”: the subtle, the fearless, and the indifferent.

Which does not belong?

As a foreigner in a place that’s as homogenous as India, you’re going to get attention whether you like it or not. This issue is compounded by being a female in a place as conservative as India. There are, of course, differences in how people give you that attention, and often this correlates with how familiar the locals are with foreigners. Here are the three “buckets” of experiences I’ve had (usually with men):

Subtle: Characteristic of places that doesn’t get much foreigner action (e.g., Lucknow), subtle attention consists of incessant staring, leering and photographing. In public places (especially railway stations), we’ll often find men sneak pictures and videos of us by holding up their phones “indiscreetly,” but the phones inevitably track our every move. Sometimes the attention is out of cautious curiosity; other times, it’s out of malice. Cautious curiosity, though often exhausting, can be fun and invigorating, as I’ve often found in our visits to villages. Malice, on the other hand, is enraging and manifests itself in sexist / racist comments or groping.

Fearless: Men in places that see more foreigners, such as Varanasi, are braver. They’re not afraid to approach you, talk to you, and touch you. Despite seeing millions of tourists every year, they somehow never get used to us. Walking along the ghats not only involved endless touts from peddlers, but also in countless “greetings” by men, the intent of most I’m unsure of. For me, this was more exhausting than the subtle attention I get at Lucknow, because I couldn’t hide from it simply by looking down. Groping occurs far more frequently in places like this, because we’re no longer “aliens” to be approached with caution, but are rather pieces of meat free for all.

Indifferent: No attention at all. “Westernized” and “modern” places like Delhi are familiar with Westerners and their culture. Heck, they might even have foreigner friends themselves! As such, folks in Delhi see foreigners on the street and often don’t even give us a second look. To them, foreigners are just like anyone else, only more clueless. (Of course, the first and second types also exist in Delhi, in significantly smaller numbers.) For the brief time I was alone in Delhi, the only thing that made me aware that I was a foreigner was myself.

Even as I write this, I know I’m over-generalizing and that I’m not being fair. Racism clearly exists everywhere, and I’ve had countless positive interactions with locals in all parts of India (and the world). It’s unfortunate that even one negative experience can often cloud all the positive ones, but sometimes I actually think that each eyeball takes away a piece of my soul.