Time seems to travel differently in India, where a lot happens in a short period of time followed by a long period of nothingness. In short, April has been nothing but, thanks in particular to Varanasi. This first part is the relaxing and rejuvenating part of our trip.
Richa (former StudyHall School teacher and the newest member of the DSH team) had arranged a trip for Urvashi and Anna to scope out a potential site for DSH and DPC at a rural center in Varanasi, run by the Krishnamurti Foundation India (KFI). Not only were Elizabeth and I given the opportunity to tag along on this trip, but we (with Anna) also decided to stay through the weekend to explore the city.
We reached Varanasi in the morning after a rather uneventful overnight train ride, though we were lucky enough to spot rats, cows, and monkeys at the train station. The car took us to what I’ve since dubbed the Krishnamurti Retreat Center (KRC), located in the outskirts of the city. When we entered the site, I immediately felt a sense of internal calmness and peacefulness, something I hadn’t realized I’d lost during my previous two months in Lucknow. Simply said, the KRC is a natural, serene setting whose natural beauty encourages spirituality and introspection.
We spent the next two days in meetings and observing the rural site, though in our free time, we explored the KRC and took some time to read and write. The school echoed the beauty and serenity of the KRC, though our meetings surfaced some critical challenges facing KFI and its operations. While DPC is moving forward with developing a partnership with KFI, we have decided that to postpone DSH adoption for numerous reasons, including:Financial Instability: KFI is facing some serious financial challenges, with (a) no means of revenue generation, and (b) students not paying any form of tuition whatsoever. They don’t have the funds to expand their school and accommodate more students, as they can’t afford to hire more teachers.
Misdirected Efforts: KFI leadership has been recently focusing on villagers who are encroaching upon their land. Rather than devising a scheme to partner with the villagers to improve conditions of all parties involved, leadership has been preoccupied with finding ways to block out the villagers.
Misinformed Sense of Scale: The principal of the school has decided to focus on quality over quantity. To this end, he has capped class size to 25 students. Such intentions are good; the problem is that he can easily reach more students by increasing his class size without sacrificing quality.
Assessing the school site was only half the experience of staying at KRC, however. The other half includes attending KRC events, such as film night and discussion night. These were focused on better understanding Krishnamurti’s teachings, as that is the goal of most folks at the center. Unfortunately, my writing won’t do justice to what I experienced these two evenings, as my mind has seemingly retained abstract memories of the experience, but not the specifics.Film Night: There is a weekly film night that focuses on a specific topic in Krishnamurti’s teachings. Unfortunately, Krishnamurti is not the most eloquent of speakers, nor is he particularly charismatic. The video was filmed at a conference, and was continually punctured with self-posed Q&A like, “Are you following me? I do not believe you are following.” or “Are you listening? This is very, very serious information, and if you are not listening, I ask that you leave.” I managed to focus long enough to follow his logic, however, and he makes some strong arguments which are worth some thought. It is most unfortunate that I cannot recall his argument, nor the general topic of discussion. Philosophy was never my strong suit.Special types of conversations emerge from being in a setting with folks who are all philosophizing about their lives. I was sitting by a tree writing one afternoon, and was approached by a man who wanted to engage in conversation. We quickly jumped into life philosophy, as he has been at the KRC for two years (whereas most people stay only 2-3 days) studying Krishnamurti’s teachings. I asked him how being at KRC for so long has changed how he would live his life in tangible ways, and his answer was a long-winded response akin to, “I have learned about the negative energy that comes from within many of us. Everything is built from relationships, and that is the most important thing.” Perhaps it was because of language differences, or perhaps it’s because I’m no philosopher. But that answer I just didn’t find satisfying.
Discussion Night: Hosted by Professor Krishna (not Krishnamurti), this event is meant to clarify any questions that have arisen about Krishnamurti’s teachings in people’s self-exploration the previous week. One particularly vibrant discussion arose from the question of whether there really is a separate “inner” and “outer,” or whether they are simply different manifestations of the “whole.” Again, I wish there were more I retained from this hour+ of discussion.
I sometimes wonder if I’m too far on the “practical” end of the spectrum, and whether I should inch closer to the “philosophizing” end. For me, knowledge itself is not an end; it is useful insomuch as it has a tangible impact. For example, understanding the importance of relationships is only the first step; what’s more important to me is learning how to improve my relationships. For example, how can I make sure I understand the other person’s needs, spoken and unspoken? How can I ensure I’m a good friend / sister / daughter / mother / etc.? I need some practical tools, and I need to actually practice them; otherwise it’s just knowledge wasted.
A friend recently said that I was “too rational.” Perhaps he is right, in which case my “practical” solution is to pick up one of Krishnamurti’s books and begin dissecting his teachings. Wait, who am I kidding?
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