The Brass Band

Summary: Attendance at another wedding adds yet a different perspective and provides a better understanding of this wedding business.

I think I’m finally starting to get the hang of this wedding business. Unlike weddings in the U.S., celebrations and functions differ depending on whether you know the bride or groom. With the exception of the actual marriage, one would normally attend events hosted by the side you know.

As a refresher of events attended thus far:

• Event 1: Tilak hosted by the groom’s family, attended by the grooms’ acquaintances. Elizabeth and I were pulled onto the dance floor in front of an audience of a couple hundred, plus 30 men + cameras in close vicinity.
  
• Event 2: Ladies’ sangeet hosted by the bride.
  
• Event 3: Marriage, from the bride’s side. We paid the bride a visit in her bridal room and left shortly after the groom arrived.

Now we can add to this list events 4 and 5. Event 4 is a marriage, invited by the groom. Event 5 is a sangeet, hosted by the groom’s family (though unlike the bride’s ladies’ sangeet from earlier, this sangeet occurred after the wedding).

We arrived a little late to the marriage, but early enough to participate in the procession to the venue. In this procession (parade), the groom sits in the car while his family and closest 100+ friends walk behind a vehicle that’s blasting brass band music through megaphones. After a few steps of walking, the vehicle stops and everyone dances in the streets. And, in case you’re wondering, yes, it does clog up the streets a little bit.

Having reached the venue, the groom is carried to the threshold from the car, where he proceeds to engage in a series of ceremonial activities and pooja (prayer). While he is doing so, my landlords and I sit inside the venue, enjoying the appetizers / chaat being served to us. About 45 minutes later, we migrate downstairs for the dinner (buffet style, as always) before heading back upstairs to catch a glimpse of the bride and groom sitting on the couch on stage while others shift behind them, posing for pictures.

This is longer than we stayed at the other marriage; I finally saw the bride and groom together. But where’s the actual wedding ceremony?

Two days later was the ladies’ sangeet. This function has its roots in the time when women didn’t dance (or even attend) the marriage; they needed another venue to celebrate. This sangeet involved a central “stage” where various friends and family members danced and performed. (This is also the event where the bride showcases her talents to her new family.) Although I stayed only for an hour at the sangeet, I was pulled onto stage to perform (of course), and did my bit for the cameras before running away as far as I could.

After all, as a guest, you have to make your presence worthwhile. And now they have me caught on tape, though I have a hunch you won’t find it on YouTube anytime soon.