‘Tis the Season for Marriage

Summary: I recently attended two more marriage functions (a sangeet and a marriage). Splendid!

A neighbor’s daughter recently got married, and, despite the fact that I’ve never met the neighbors, they invited me to the wedding celebrations. Let me preface by saying that this family’s relatively well-off.

Lady’s Sangeet
A ladies’ only event consisting of song and dance, held at the bride’s home. In my understanding, this event was originally created partly to provide women a venue to celebrate the bride’s marriage, as they traditionally don’t engage actively in the festivities at the other functions.

Though the invitation stated a starting time of 4 pm, I arrived at 7 pm (only here would I orchestrate such tardiness), when the event was well underway. I walked past the saddhu and timidly entered the music-filled room, where 30 women were sitting on mattresses laid across the floor. Some women were passively sitting and observing; a handful were actively playing the instruments (“drums”, bells, etc.), singing, and dancing. It was a lovely event, and there was an adorable little girl who approached me and played with me; this was because, as I was told, “I looked different.” I excused myself at around 8 pm with my landlady, but not before they made sure we were fed. We saw the bride only as we were making our exit.


The Marriage
I wish there was more I could report from this front. My landlady helped me wear my sari (bought near Konganapuram two years ago), and I went with the landlord’s family to the function. We arrived over an hour late (after 9 pm), and were apparently still ridiculously early, as the hall was relatively empty.

At the entrance of this brightly decorated venue, we were welcomed by the bride’s father. Walking through the front gate, you enter a courtyard where men are congregated around various food options (chaat, fruit, drinks, etc.). You then enter the building into a great, bright, banquet hall, with rows and rows of nice chairs. I’d estimate 1000 seats or so. Front and center, there’s a stage with four grand chairs: two in the middle for the bride and groom, to be flanked by the bride’s brother and sister. Stage left is a “band” performing music. I can’t forget the plasma screen, which showed a live feed of guests.

For the next 45 minutes, we sit and enjoy some small talk, with the caterers (Royal Café!) bringing us a seemingly endless supply of appetizers and drinks. We then meander over to the bridal room to find the stunningly gorgeous bride sitting on a bench swing with some of her relatives.

At around 10:30, the groom’s party finally approaches the venue (they’ve been slowly making their way, dancing along in the streets), and my landlords decide to head upstairs for the buffet dinner. After dinner, we walk to the outside courtyard where the groom is engaged in ceremonial rituals.

Then, I hear, “Chalo?” (“Shall we go?”) I’m startled, and stumble for a response. I look at my phone. It’s 11 pm.

I’ll admit that I’m a little disappointed I didn’t really see anything. At what point did marriages become more about the food than the celebration of the unity of two families? I’m still grateful for the experience, and I’m still hopeful that I’ll eventually get to see an actual marriage.

I almost forgot. As we walked to the car, my landlady turns to me and says, “The groom has high post, but not looking so good.”