How Many People Does It Take To…

Summary: My life in India in a nutshell – it took me 5 days and 16 people to do a job others claim could’ve happened in 2 hours with 1 person.

To everyone’s shock and disbelief, I’ve been surviving Indian nights with nothing but my ceiling fan and an occasional frozen bottle of water. However, folks at the office, concerned about my health, wanted me to use a spare AC from the office. I can only protest so much, so I give in to the forces that be.

This may appear to be the story of how I got an AC installed, but in actuality, it’s a story of how things get done in India (even at the minute level of refilling a glass of water in a restaurant). My coworkers will claim this is how foreigners get things done in India....

(1) Day 1: Coworker calls the StudyHall School electrician to send an AC wallah to take out the AC and install it in my house.
(2) AC wallah does not come, but carpenters do. They’re not needed yet, so get sent back.
(3) Day 2: AC wallah comes and takes down the AC. Visits my house to see where and how it will fit.
(4) AC wallah determines that a fabricator (i.e., arc welder) is needed to cut the bars on the window, and calls the StudyHall electrician with the news.
(5) Day 3: StudyHall electrician brings the fabricator to my house to examine what needs to be done. Fabricator agrees to come the following day at noon.
(6) Day 4: Fabricator comes with another man to inspect the job (again). Agrees to come back in two hours (after lunch) with the tools.
(7) With a lot of help, we move the AC to my house via cycle rickshaw.
(8) Fabricator and yet a different boy come to cut the bars. There is no shortage of small fires that need to be doused with water.
(9) Call StudyHall electrician to see about next steps. It is determined that an AC wallah is not needed, and we send for the carpenters.
(10) Day 5: StudyHall electrician arrives in the morning with a carpenter to take measurements. Will return in three hours (after lunch).
(11) Carpenter and wingman come to “fit” and install the AC.

Days to complete job: 5
Actual work time: 5 hours [AC wallah (30 min.); fabricator (2 hours); carpenter (2.5 hours)]
People involved: 16. [coordinators / translators (4); StudyHall electrician (1); AC wallah (1); carpenters (2+2); moving the AC (3); fabricators (3)]

The fabricator doing his thing from inside. See the sparks?

The "hole" left by the fabricator for the AC:

The final product (notice the plywood covering my entire window):

My coworkers claim that they only need 1 person and 2 hours to complete the same job. True, perhaps folks made the job unnecessarily complicated because I’m a foreigner. But this is India as I’ve experienced it, even when I ask locals for help.